Chapter 21: Imagine Yourself at Your Own Funeral
If you could change anything right now about your life, what would it be?
This strategy of thinking has been a wake-up call. When I look back at my life as if I were on my deathbed, there's a lot of changes that can be made. For starters, I need to live in the moment. I get so caught up in my future goals that I forget to cherish the moments that are happening right now. If this habit continues, I will miss an abundance of great opportunities to make childhood memories. That's what my high school career is all about! Additionally, I feel as though I take things that I love for granted, such as family and friends. I don't express how much I love them and how thankful I am to have these people in my life. If I could change anything in my life right now, I would start there.
Chapter 22: Repeat to Yourself, "Life Isn't an Emergency"
Describe a time or moment in your life when you turn something into an emergency.
Life isn't an emergency, regardless of what most people beg to differ. I have daily occurrences where I create minor tasks into an emergency. My goals are often the priority of my life when they shouldn't be. I forget to enjoy the journey that life brings. I plan for everything and if something doesn't go the way I planned, I beat myself up for not meeting my self-created deadlines. One of the biggest "emergencies" in my life is my studies. I often make my homework a greater priority than spending time with my loved ones. I need to remind myself that my family and friends are the ones who will always support my success, not my homework.
Chapter 23: Experiment with Your Back Burner
Analyze: "It puts our quieter, softer, and sometimes most intelligent source of thinking to work for us on issues that we have no immediate answer for."
Does feeding the back burner reduce stress in our lives? I often find myself trying to have an answer for everything. This puts me in a constant state of stress. The back burner is meant to allow your mind to find an answer to a problem while doing something else, but I think it might cause more stress. If I were to use the back burner more frequently, I think I would find myself piling up tasks to do in the future and it won't get done until the last minute. I think that to perform my best work, I need to plan and execute ahead of time to relieve stress. This is more productive than telling me that I will get it done eventually. In conclusion, I believe that the back burner might be useful for things that do not matter, but it shouldn't be used for important tasks.
Chapter 24: Spend a Moment Every Day Thinking of Someone to Thank
Who is one person you would thank in this moment and why?
If I were to show gratitude to someone right now, I would thank my friend Laney. I have never bonded with someone so strongly in such a short amount of time. Laney has become a huge part of my life and I consider her family. Recently, I made the most difficult decision of my life. I decided that my career in travel softball is over. As my teammate and my friend, Laney showed full support of my choice. We cried together on multiple occasions because we were going to miss each other so much. Laney showed me what a lifelong friend looks like, and I will forever be grateful for her.
Chapter 25: Smile at Strangers, Look into Their Eyes, and Say Hello
When you read this chapter, regarding eye contact and connect, what are your initial thoughts?
Initially, I reflected on my behaviors when it comes to strangers. Although I often avoid eye contact with them, I do not neglect the presence of strangers because I always try to be aware of my surroundings. Unlike the people mentioned in the book, I do not walk around with my head down. On the occasion where I find myself making eye contact with a stranger, I always smile.
Chapter 26: Set Aside Quiet Time, Every Day
When do you find a quiet moment in your day, every day, just to be present and quiet? Do you? Or perhaps you don't...explain.
My daily quiet time is not necessarily quiet. When I finish all of my homework for the evening, I lay in bed with my mom and watch television. There is something so soothing about watching my favorite shows that it puts me in an instant state of relaxation. I do not find being in silence peaceful. I enjoy taking time to myself, but I like to listen to some sort of noise, even if it is just the slight whistling of the wind.
Chapter 27: Imagine the People in Your Life as Tiny Infants & as 100 Year Old Adults
Describe a time when you have been frustrated with someone, but you "let go" of the situation and moved forward with your life. How did that make you feel?
A few months ago, I was in a beef meeting with my agricultural advisor and other FFA members who raise steer for the fair. My advisor was discussing the different elements of raising a steer, including a reasonable price range for show cattle. One member of the group decided to blurt out how much money I spent on my steer, which was private information. I was so frustrated that someone would release my private information, which they only knew about from eavesdropping on a conversation with my friend. I was so bitter about the situation for the rest of the day. When I got home, I told my mom about what happened. She helped me see the situation from a different perspective, and it allowed me to let go. I do not enjoy holding resentment toward others. I am content that I was able to move on.
Chapter 28: Seek First to Understand
Describe a situation where you did not seek to understand first. Was there a resolution to this conflict?
I did not seek to understand when my friend was having relationship problems. Her boyfriend was accusing her of something that she didn’t do. She asked me for advice because she didn’t know how to handle it. I immediately told her that he wasn’t worth her time if he didn’t trust her. She didn’t like my response because she doesn’t want to leave him. I resolved the conflict by asking her how she feels about him and giving her better advice.
Chapter 29: Become a Better Listener
Who is someone that you can genuinely talk to? That you know will listen to? Describe this relationship.
When I need someone to talk to, I can always count on my mom. She is one of the best listeners. I went through a low period in my life at the end of 2021. I had an internal struggle that was affecting my life and my emotions. I was so stressed out because of the school workload and preparing for finals. I started to shut out my friends because I thought that they wouldn’t understand. Finally, I decided to tell my mom. She supported me by helping me get through my struggles. I know I can always trust my mom when there is a situation like this.
Chapter 30: Choose Your Battles Wisely
Describe a time when you were angry with someone, but in reality it was not worth the energy. How did you feel after the confrontation? Could it have gone differently if you didn't sweat the small stuff?
My brother and I used to get into the most pointless arguments. When we were younger, I started screaming at him because he locked me out of the bathroom when I was going to take a shower. I was so upset because I wanted to shower first, but it wasn’t worth the energy. There are multiple different ways that I could have made the situation better. I could have gone to the other shower in our house or waited ten minutes to go in the other bathroom. I shouldn’t have screamed and yelled for no reason.
Chapter 31: Become Aware of Your Moods & Don't Allow Yourself to Be Fooled by the Low Ones
Describe a time when you were in a bad mood and how it shaped your day. Describe a time when you were in a great mood and discuss the day you had.
I used to be emotional when I played sports. I would always try not to cry when I made an error at softball. It put me in a bad mood because I hate when people see me cry. It would also affect my performance because I couldn’t get it out of my head. To contrast, when I made a great play, I was in the best mood. I love diving for a ball in the outfield and hitting a home run. I love the way it feels to have my teammates cheer me on. It always puts me in a good mood.
Chapter 32: Life Is a Test. It Is Only a Test
As an experiment, see if you can apply this idea to something you are forced to deal with right now. Explain your emotions and the logic behind this situation. Can you rise above it?
Currently, I am dealing with AP World History. That is the hardest class I have ever taken. I have worked so hard to pass the exam that I forget to have fun sometimes. I stress about this class every day because I am so focused on getting an A. I think that this is because I take life too seriously. In reality, this test does not define my life. I need to use this test and this class as an opportunity to grow. That is how I will rise above the challenges that I face throughout life.
Chapter 33: Praise and Blame Are All the Same
You will not please everyone. How does this statement sit with you and why do we tend to focus on the negative rather than the positive?
I am not a people pleaser. I know that I can not please everyone, even if I try. This statement does not phase me. The fact that not everyone is going to like me does not bother me because I do not need approval from others to feel validated. I am perfectly fine with being myself, and if you don’t like that, then I am not going to waste my time to try and please you. I am not going to change who I am to make someone else feel better.
Chapter 34: Practice Random Acts of Kindness
Describe a time when you completed random acts of kindness and how did it make you feel?
I love the way I feel when I give without expecting anything in return. Giving people gifts is one of my love languages. A few months ago, I was tutoring a fourth grade boy. I could tell that his family was struggling, so I decided to give him math lessons for free. It felt good to help and give them an unexpected act of kindness.
Chapter 35: Looking Beyond Behavior
In your own words, describe the meaning of loving-kindness.
Loving-kindness is being kind to someone because you want to, not because you have to. You shouldn't be kind to someone without coming from a genuine place. Today, people are fake and they act nice to you in person, but they'll turn around and talk bad behind your back. That is not loving-kindness. You should never talk bad about people because you never know what someone is going through. Also, people only talk bad about others because of their own insecurities, so it is honestly pointless. Be kind to others at all times because you should always come from a place of love, not hate.
Chapter 36: See the Innocence
What occurs when we practice compassion toward others and let go of "their" story, rather than be caught up in the drama of a situation?
In high school, I experience drama every day. I try to stay out of it as much as possible because it is not good for your mental health. I also don't buy into it because most of the time it isn't even true. If there is drama that involves one of my friends where I end up getting involved, I try to empathize with others so that more drama isn't created. Most of the time, people only see things from their point of view, but I try to see things from other people's perspective so that I can understand the situation better. I think that this is the best way to deal with drama or other conflicts because people won't get aggravated and make everything worse.
Chapter 37: Choose Being Kind Over Being Right
Define equanimity. Do you practice this in your life? Look at your ego first before you answer...
Equanimity is being mentally undisturbed through experiences or situations. I think that I practice equanimity a lot in my life because I usually keep my composure, whether I experience something good or bad. I am an emotional person, but I don't express my emotions very often. This isn't the most healthy thing, but it is how I deal with certain situations. I may be mentally disturbed, but no one would be able to tell. This isn't exactly equanimity, but what people see will look like it.
Chapter 38: Tell Three People (Today) How Much You Love Them
In picking three people, who would you choose and why?
I would choose my mom, my best friend Laney, and my friend Jaycee. I chose my mom because she is my biggest supporter and she would do anything for me. I love her so much because she brought me into this world and she has been the best mom I could have ever asked for. I also chose Laney because she is the closest thing I have to a sister. She brings light into my life and she is one of my favorite people. I would tell Jaycee I love her because I spend almost every day with her. She keeps me alive at school and I love talking to her.
Chapter 39: Practice Humility
Describe a time when you saw an individual or a group that lacked humanity. How did that make you feel about that individual or group?
I see people that lack humility every day, especially during sports season. There are some athletes that know that they are good and they have no problem letting the world know. The dramatic celebrations and talking about how good you are all of the time gets old. I wish that all athletes were humble because it would make sports so much more enjoyable at times. No one wants to hear about how many home runs you have hit or how many touchdowns you have scored. Athletes want to hear about the ups, downs, and genuine experiences playing the sport. We don't need to hear about how amazing you are because you look so much more talented when you are amazing, but don't brag about it.
Chapter 40: When in Doubt about Whose Turn It Is to Take Out the Trash, Go Ahead and Take It Out
What is your perspective and opinion of this article? Is it valid or a waste of time?
I think that this argument is valid in certain situations. There are a lot of families with siblings that argue every day about who's turn it is to do a specific chore, but my experience hasn't been like that. My brother and I argue here and there about who's responsibility it was to take care of something, but more of the time we work together to get our chores done and support each other when someone isn't finished yet. We don't scream at each other to do a certain task. Instead, we help each other without complaining because we have learned that the work goes by so much faster that way.
Chapter 41: Avoid Weatherproofing
Do you Weatherproof? Explain.
I weatherproof to an extent. I don't go up to people and point out their flaws. Instead, I may notice something about them but won't say anything. I try to be positive and see the best in people, but judgment is inevitable. If I see something that I don't like about someone, I keep it to myself and move on. The author says that weatherproofing should never be done, but I think that it can be necessary. If I get into a relationship and I don't weatherproof my partner, I may be blinding myself to red flags. I think that weatherproofing others is a natural part of life that can keep you from getting involved with the wrong types of people.
Chapter 42: Spend a Moment, Every Day, Thinking of Someone to Love
Who do you choose to send love to in this moment?
I choose to send love to Jenna because she has been a great friend the past few years and I love spending time with her every day. She is one of those friends that will be there for you no matter what. I know that I can rely on her for anything, and she is one of the first people I want to call when something significant happens in my life. I love her so much and I am so glad that we have gotten close since freshman year.
Chapter 43: Become an Anthropologist
Reflect on the following: "Judging others takes a great deal of energy and, without exception, pulls you away from where you want to be."
I agree with this quote. I think that judging people is a waste of time and energy. There are so many other ways to use your precious time in a positive way, so why spend it judging someone else? When you judge others, it is often from a personal insecurity that has nothing to do with the person being judged. Judging others is a reflection of your lack of confidence in yourself and will continually spiral you down a negative path.
Chapter 44: Understand Separate Realities
Why is it important to see the differences among one another in our small intimate circle to cultures around the world?
It is important to see the differences in our world because everyone has been designed by God in their own beautiful and unique way, which deserves to be acknowledged. By making an effort to understand someone else's differences, you are allowing yourself to connect with them and feel empathy, even when you don't always agree with their opinions. This is really important in relationships because no two people are exactly the same, which means that disagreements are inevitable. However, if you try and understand where they are coming from, you can resolve conflicts smoothly and have a healthy relationship.
Chapter 45: Develop Your Own Helping Rituals
What are some ways that you can help the spread of kindness toward others?
There are many ways that I can spread kindness towards others, but one of the most simple, yet impactful ways to spread kindness is to smile at someone. I think that walking past someone and waving or flashing a smile is so underrated because people don't acknowledge the people around them. By smiling at someone, you can change a bad day into a good one. They may have just heard the worst news or woke up in a bad mood, but by smiling at them, you are shining your joy and kindness onto their life, which can make them happier immediately. Instead of walking by people and ignoring their existence, I think that we should all wave and say hello. It is low risk and easy, so why not take a chance and smile?
Chapter 46: Every Day, Tell at Least One Person Something You Like, Admire, or Appreciate about Them
Give someone a compliment via text message or DM. Who did you choose and how did it make you feel to support another person?
We had our candidate speeches for ASB elections last week, and I know that my friend was nervous. We worked on her campaign together, so I knew that she was going to do amazing things. Before she gave her speech, I texted her good luck. Afterwards, I told Jenna that she did an amazing job and her speech was flawless. By doing this, I was able to show her that I appreciate her and everything she has done to get to this moment. She was reassured when she received my text, which made me feel amazing because I was able to compliment one of my best friends and know that it made a positive impact on her life. I think that I should work on giving out more compliments because it not only raises the other person's self esteem, but it also makes me feel good.
Chapter 47: Argue for Your Limitations, and They're Yours
Discuss a time when you had self doubt and set limitations on yourself. How did you or how could you change this behavior?
There was a point in my softball career that I became afraid to take chances. I was playing the game safe instead of going all out. For example, when someone hit a ball to me that was hard to reach, instead of diving and going for the out, I would take a step back and let it bounce to me. Yes, it is safer to do that so the ball doesn't go behind you if you miss it, but going for the out is so much better because if you catch it, it could change the course of the game. When I noticed I was playing afraid, I changed my attitude completely. I became more confident in my skills as a player and I knew I was capable of catching every ball, so I started diving more and I catch it almost every time. Expanding my limits has made me a better player and a better teammate, and I would tell anyone struggling to be confident in themselves and not set themselves back.
Chapter 49: Resist the Urge to Criticize
What is your perspective on one who is critical, talking poorly about another person, lies to feed their ego? Look inward... are you guilty?
I appreciate constructive criticism, but I'm not too fond of when someone criticizes me without reason. For example, if I write an English essay for one of my classes and a teacher gives me a terrible grade without explaining what I did wrong, I get frustrated because I cannot use that criticism to improve. However, if a teacher takes notes to give me feedback when I ask them how to improve, I appreciate their criticism because it allows me to learn and do better the next time. It is also important to acknowledge that sometimes people will criticize you because they feel inferior and they just judge you to make themselves feel better. I use my judgment to read people and get a better understanding of my environment, but I do not judge or criticize people to make myself feel better. If I ever offer criticism to someone, I deliver it in a respectful and constructive way.
Chapter 50: Write Down Your Five Most Stubborn Positions and See if You Can Soften Them
Where do you find stubbornness in yourself? Describe in detail.
I tend to be stubborn in some aspects of life, but there are many cons to being a stubborn human. When stubborn, you are unwilling to see things from someone else's perspective, making you seem indifferent and close-minded. If you are not willing to learn and grow from the views of your peers, you will not be as educated as the people around you because you are not embracing the idea of having a growth mindset. I have stubborn tendencies regarding my morals because I do not want to change them for anyone, but this act is standing my ground more than being stubborn.
Chapter 51: Just for Fun, Agree with Criticism Directed Toward You (Then Watch It Go Away)
Describe a time when someone criticized you and discuss the emotions felt behind these comments. What do you think about the author's idea to accept the criticism?
Junior year, I faced a lot of criticism during homecoming for the decoration competitions that I designed. It was not my job to take charge of the class competitions, but someone had to step up due to a lack of leadership. Some of my designs sounded really good initially, but they did not turn out well in the end. I was given a lot of constructive criticism on how to improve for the next year because my peers predicted that I was going to be a class officer senior year. I took the criticism graciously because I wanted to learn more about how to run class competitions and improve. This is similar to how the author of this chapter discusses criticism, so I agree with his stance on accepting criticism.
Chapter 52: Search for the Grain of Truth in Other Opinions
Describe a moment when someone shared their opinion that you did not agree with, but was willing to listen and hear a different perspective. How did the overall conversations go?
As an athlete, I receive a lot of criticism and opinions from others about my performance. Last season, one of my best friends told me that they do not understand why I am playing center field because they think that they are better than me. Although I do not agree with them, I understand where they are coming from because they are competitive and want to play in a bigger position. I did not get defensive when we had the conversation. I told her that I understand why she feels that way, but the coaches think differently and the only way she can fix that is by working harder to improve. I think that encouraging people to continue to work to get better at something is good advice, so I said that because I wanted her to feel heard without beating her opinions down.